What is your current definition of success? Is it the same it has always been or does it need a remodel? Let's talk about why you are feeling unsuccessful or feeling unfulfilled in your current achievements.
Using Positive Self-Talk To Motivate Your Success
Everyone has conflicts in their lives. Most often, people think of conflicts as a negative thing. We think that fighting with someone means that the relationship is in trouble. But, whether a conflict is a negative thing or a positive thing depends on the "how" of the interaction. Here are 10 Rules for Fighting Fair and keeping your conflicts as positive as possible.
I had an interesting conversation with a client this week about the meaning of the words Gratitude and Change. The client had come to the realization that his definition of Gratitude was actually holding him back from working towards Change in certain areas of his life.
In the arena of well-being care, we loudly and regularly support the importance of gratitude. It is an accepted "truth" that appreciating what one has in life supports feelings of joy, contentment and satisfaction. But, this client came across an interesting dilemma. By defining Gratitude as "I have everything I want out of life", he found himself in a paradox. He found himself not giving himself permission to explore the changes he wanted to make and how they would enhance his satisfaction in himself because that somehow felt "ungrateful."
In our conversation, we came to the awareness that my client was stuck in a This OR That trap. In trying to figure out if he was grateful for his life, he had created two categories - grateful and ungrateful - and was trying to determine which one he fit in. But, that mental trap created a categorization that isn't accurate. He was finding himself both This AND That. He was fully grateful for the blessings of his life. AND, he was ready to explore ways that he can challenge himself to achieve new things. Ironically, without embracing that both can exist at the same time, he was standing in his way of truly having either.
Think about the areas of your life that are just not as satisfying as you would like them to be. Are you settling for those areas to be mediocre because you are choosing to focus on your blessings? Are you asking yourself to choose between This OR That in such a way that you don't feel empowered to make changes or feel guilty about wanting more? What if you could do both?
Challenge yourself to define Gratitude as the awareness of your strengths, your blessings and all the things that make your life what you want it to be. Gratitude is not about "my life is perfect." Gratitude is being thankful for the personal power, strength and courage to go out there and always strive for more challenges.
In the arena of well-being care, we loudly and regularly support the importance of gratitude. It is an accepted "truth" that appreciating what one has in life supports feelings of joy, contentment and satisfaction. But, this client came across an interesting dilemma. By defining Gratitude as "I have everything I want out of life", he found himself in a paradox. He found himself not giving himself permission to explore the changes he wanted to make and how they would enhance his satisfaction in himself because that somehow felt "ungrateful."
In our conversation, we came to the awareness that my client was stuck in a This OR That trap. In trying to figure out if he was grateful for his life, he had created two categories - grateful and ungrateful - and was trying to determine which one he fit in. But, that mental trap created a categorization that isn't accurate. He was finding himself both This AND That. He was fully grateful for the blessings of his life. AND, he was ready to explore ways that he can challenge himself to achieve new things. Ironically, without embracing that both can exist at the same time, he was standing in his way of truly having either.
Think about the areas of your life that are just not as satisfying as you would like them to be. Are you settling for those areas to be mediocre because you are choosing to focus on your blessings? Are you asking yourself to choose between This OR That in such a way that you don't feel empowered to make changes or feel guilty about wanting more? What if you could do both?
Challenge yourself to define Gratitude as the awareness of your strengths, your blessings and all the things that make your life what you want it to be. Gratitude is not about "my life is perfect." Gratitude is being thankful for the personal power, strength and courage to go out there and always strive for more challenges.
Step-by-step guide to evaluating your personal goals and maximizing your success
If you're familiar at all with the Serenity Prayer, then the title of this post will be very familiar.
So much of our time and energy can be wasted trying to change something that is outside of our control or neglecting to do something that could bring about something we want. Without exception, this always brings about frustration and agitation.
Serenity, or peace of mind and heart, comes from being able to accept that there are things in our world that we just do not have the power or ability to change. They are outside our domain and outside of our ability to control. Mostly, this falls under the actions of other people. When what we want most is dependent on someone else doing something in a specific way, we need to remember that we cannot make someone do something. The only part we can control is our actions. Sometimes, that means changing our approach to the situation or having the courage to step outside our comfort zone and do something new. Sometimes, that means accepting that we cannot have what we want exactly how we want it. And, although this can bring profound disappointment, disappointment is better than the frustration and anger that comes with continuing to put effort into something that cannot go our way.
The other line in the Serenity Prayer is "...and the wisdom to know the difference." The hardest part can be evaluating a situation to determine where the need for courage ends and the need for acceptance begins. Each situation is different. Often we feel like accepting is the same as giving up. But, it isn't. Accepting allows us to know our limits and put our resources into other things that stand a chance at bringing us happiness.
Wishing you Serenity, Acceptance, Courage and Wisdom!
So much of our time and energy can be wasted trying to change something that is outside of our control or neglecting to do something that could bring about something we want. Without exception, this always brings about frustration and agitation.
Serenity, or peace of mind and heart, comes from being able to accept that there are things in our world that we just do not have the power or ability to change. They are outside our domain and outside of our ability to control. Mostly, this falls under the actions of other people. When what we want most is dependent on someone else doing something in a specific way, we need to remember that we cannot make someone do something. The only part we can control is our actions. Sometimes, that means changing our approach to the situation or having the courage to step outside our comfort zone and do something new. Sometimes, that means accepting that we cannot have what we want exactly how we want it. And, although this can bring profound disappointment, disappointment is better than the frustration and anger that comes with continuing to put effort into something that cannot go our way.
The other line in the Serenity Prayer is "...and the wisdom to know the difference." The hardest part can be evaluating a situation to determine where the need for courage ends and the need for acceptance begins. Each situation is different. Often we feel like accepting is the same as giving up. But, it isn't. Accepting allows us to know our limits and put our resources into other things that stand a chance at bringing us happiness.
Wishing you Serenity, Acceptance, Courage and Wisdom!
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